ENGLISH, PLEASE.

When you watch practice videos of patient interviews, or better yet make it to the show yourself, you have an idea of how things are generally supposed to go when you meet a new patient. A little introduction, some hi how are you, and then the patient gives a very neat and easy to follow history of their presenting illness (HPI), you do some appropriate tests, make a diagnosis, patient is happy, you’re a hero, bada boom bada bing. After having worked as a staff ED doc for many years now, I can make a formal statement regarding that belief.

“Old me - are you stupid are you dumb?”

Let me paint you a little picture.
79 year old female. Walking, talking, caring for herself. Doing pretty well for an old bird.

Dr. Z: Good afternoon ma’am, what brings you into the emergency department today?
Old Bird: Well, four days ago my heart was racing. And i had slime in my mouth yesterday. Not heavy slime but a thin slime, you know. And today my knees are burning. The doctor told me to use oxygen at home - how often?

Some days I just… FFS.