EYES OPEN, MOUTH CLOSED.

Most days at work are great. Some days at work can be long, frustrating, and make you feel like you were shit on by a herd of African elephants that had just eaten Indian food. When those days come around, all you need is a single breath of fresh air to make it through the day. That, or one sassy black woman wearing a turtleneck.

One sunny day in July, a patient came in to the Emergency Department after a motor vehicle collision, and had some neck pain. Me, being the the incredibly astute physician that I am, decided that some imaging was in order, and sent the patient for x-rays of her cervical spine. While checking for the three views of her cervical spine a few minutes later... I notice something odd. There are only two. ONLY TWO. WTF, x-ray dudes. So I call over to xray:

Dr. Z: Art, what's with Ms. Turtleneck only having two views of her c-spine? What happened to the odontoid view?
Art: She wouldn't do it, buddy. She refused. Just got all upset and said it wasn't gonna happen.

*cue Law & Order music*

Dr. Z: Hi Ms. Turtleneck. I've taken a look at your x-rays, and for the most part they look good. I only have two of the three views that I need, though, so I can't say that everything is ok with 100% certainty. Why wouldn't you do the third view?
Ms. Turtleneck: Baby, listen here. You cute and all, and I like you. I don't know where you from, but in my neighborhood, when a strange man asks you to close your eyes and open your mouth, he best have bought me dinner first or I ain't opening shit.

Game, set, match, sassy black woman in a turtleneck.