I HAVE FUNNY PARENTS.

I HAVE FUNNY PARENTS​

​I live quite the distance from my parents, so I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like. I think of them often, and I'm excited to move home so that I can be closer to them. This gets more important every day, as they are pretty much on the verge of overwhelming dementia, and every day that goes by is one day closer to me having to move them into my basement full time. I'd like to enjoy them a little more before I spend their last days opening the basement door only to slide down leftovers and the occasional bottle of water. 

Being that I live far away, my mother calls me approximately 18 times a week. This I don't mind, mainly because of how funny she is. My dad, being a man, doesn't really call that often - but that's okay, too, because he's always there to yell things out in the background while my mom has me on the line. This transpired tonight: ​

Dr. Z: Hey ma, what's up? 
Mama Z: Just spending some time with your dad and your loving dogs. They miss you.
Dr. Z: I know. I'll be home in a week to see them! Not you, though. Just them.
Mama Z: Remember when you told me that once you became a doctor, you would fly me out for two vacations a year?
Dr. Z: Yeah yeah yeah. ​
(10 minutes of conversation later)
Mama Z: Okay, honey, I love you. Your dad loves you and says that he wants nothing but the best for you. 
Dr. Z: Tell him I feel the same, which is why he should've left you years ago. It's not too late!
Mama Z: Do you think if I asked for child support, they would grant it to me? Even though all of you kids are over 18? 
Papa Z: *faintly, in the background* I don't care! I'll pay it as long as you go!!

These are the days of our lives. ​